Posts Tagged ‘redneck’

Letter to a Stranger No.2

Shawn | September 25, 2007 in Journal | Comments (5)

Dear Asshole in the Red Pickup Next to Me at the Stoplight,

You are such a man.

I am thoroughly impressed with your toughguyitude. ‘Linin’ em up’ with whomever is lucky enough to be next to you at each and every stoplight in town, you waste no time ‘Gettin R Doooone’ in the redneck rally you’re perpetually driving in. Your deft command over your beastly ca. 1990 Ford F150 was dizzying, or perhaps that was the cloud of noxious fumes it left behind. And as if I hadn’t been emasculated enough by your ace driving skills, blinding speed, and sneering backward glance, I nearly shat myself when you slammed your brakes on upon seeing me behind you giving the universal jerk off hand signal! Whew, I almost tasted pure Buxton Steel! Narrowly escaping a Stone Cold can of Whuppass, I trod lightly the rest of the evening reflecting on my inferiority. I will now forever dwell in the cold shadow of your giant cock and balls.